#im not killing myself for capitalism
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Okay, the Ko-fi shop will be going up sooner than I thought, because apparently landlords believe house spouses who don't hold a job are "a liability" even if they are married to someone who makes literally double the median family income for the area.
So it's not gonna be as polished as I would like it to be, because I need housing soon, and that means I need income soon.
#seriously its very bad and annoying#however dumb of a situation you think this is just like#double that#there is no reason for me to have a job#life wise it does not make sense#i keep home and he makes more than enough money to support me#but noooooooo#im not killing myself for capitalism#so clearly im unreliable and impossible to rent to#even tho we're literally like. fucking married.#augh#casey rambles
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google search how does one un-fp their fp
#beautiful princess disorder#the struggle is unfortunately so very real#thing is i cant talk about this without peoole being like ooh heheh thats a crush#LIKE NO IT FUCKING ISNT IM A CAPITAL L LESBOOOOOOO#this doesnt really make much sense sorry im sore tired and tttweakinggggg.#i wish i could. unattach myself. because its so hard giving So much more of a fuck ykwim like bro dgaf ive been leftnon read for an hour#speaking of which that isnmaking me violently andgy like Stop STOP IMMGOING TO KILL UOY WITH MYOWN YWO HANDS#whos scared of double texting? me but i do it anyway because im pathetic like that#please answer me boy i miss you#worked up like this ovee an american is nasty work
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getting repeated phone calls from a job i applied to while half-delirious in dublin upon just waking up not even sure if i wanted to work there like
#STOPPPP CALLINGG MEEEE I CANT HELP IT I SEE AN OPEN POSITION I APPLY IT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING#'HELLA STOP APPLYING TO JOBS WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WONT LEAVE YOUR CURRENT PLACE' HOWWWWWWW#IT'S LIKE AN ITCH I NEED TO SCRATCH I HAVE TO DO IT. GET MY ASS OFF INDEED IT'S LIKE HEROIN TO ME#THEY LEFT ME A VOICEMAIL 😭 WHAT IF I KILLED MYSELF#it's like. better than my current job in every way the pay is better the rotas are reliable it's a chain so there's training#and it's generally run better it's a really renowned restaurant that ive never even been to bc it's too spenny etc etc#and im still here like 'but. i like my old job :(' LIKE GIRL YOU ARE BROKE. YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THINGS TO LIVE. ANSWER THE PHONE#hella slaves to capitalism
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are my extreme mood swings due to my pmdd, audhd, cptsd, or is it bipolar: i will never know and all i do is confuse my therapists
#literally the amt of therapists ive had to drop bc they are clearly just NOT trained enough or at all to deal w whatever it is im going thru#also they love to pretend capitalism is not a problem and that i can just fix everything thru ~positive mindsets~#it’s so frustrating i feel as if i will nvr get better#no medication ive ever tried has helped that much either and i have been on god. at least 10 diff ssris/snris/benzos#all that ever helped was gabapentin but my dr refuses to prescribe it to me bc she doesn’t like the dependency aspect#bitch i am about to kill myself i’m gonna be harmed either way 👍
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#tko_art#im posting this in advance cuz im on vacation 😔#i hope the weather isnt shit#🤞😋#and i hope i can turn my brain off to enjoy it#instead of stressing about art and progress#and capitalism and how much time im “wasting” like an idiot#😴😴😴😴#why do i think so much#i hope i have fun#and most importantly i do not cry#in front of my friends#i think i'd have to kill myself#or throw myself off a bridge and drown#what's the point of being rich if I wake up alone#or something something#i'll tell u more if u don't mind#but i'd hate to waste your time#it'll be okay#truthfully i think the problem is more so i find comfort in my sadness and don't know how to exist in any other form than that#being sad made me who I am#insert pain is what made me a sister warrior sobbing emoji#why would I want to change that?#it'll be ok trust
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There was a theory a while ago I saw that the eggs weren't meant to last this long and was meant to help them/spy on them originally but because the players cared so much for them and protected them, they lasted.
And with the way that the new tasks and sweets are it seems that they want the eggs to die again. But if they wanted that why give them their lives back before?? And what was the point of adding Chunsik if he's just gonna die in a few weeks. It's just forcing the players to have to be on everyday again and starting on a week when a lot of them can't/won't for their own mental health/social life.
Like even Em's admin thinks it's unfair and she's gonna die because Bagi's not here the rest of the week, Mouse and Tina are variety streamers that have the awards this weekend and Niki basically only streams once a week. Like the best bet is that Mouse logs on in the next few days because she doesn't have to physically be at the awards as a vtuber so has no irl 'obligations' to hang out with friends like Tina. But Em also needs to be awake because all of them need the 'baby' to be there and she's sick and slightly burnt out after today so might not be up for the constant dungeon tasks they get - the admins are tired, what about the players who also have other responsibilities and irl lives aswell.
There has to be another option. It's the perfect mix in that it's bonding tasks to get the sweets but it's the worst way possible. If they can't be on to do the eggs tasks or can't do enough of them do you think they have the time to be doing bounties to be able to pay the extortionate price for emergency cookies?? And at least with the original cookies you could get massive excess to help each other but now like Philza would be able to get barely enough to save Chayanne and Talullah nevermind help out Sunny while Tubbo's dead. And yes BBH is addicted and bound to do them all but he won't have excess enough to help Leo or Pepito if their parents don't log in or Chunsik if Acau can't complete enough on Sunday. They're gonna have to lower the amount required especially if it's still that non-parents have to feed double because that's impossible with only 36 tickets/18 cookies available this week and 42/21 in a normal week since they skipped Monday. It would just be slightly better if the tasks weren't dungeons but collecting stuff still and they all lasted till Sunday night.
Apparently Chayanne's admin has said that everything will be fine but knowing all this information it was fucked from the beginning so there must be a lore reasons and nothing bad is going to happen because if Em permentantly dies from being "lassoed and beaten to death" in a split second and "neglect" (because her parents have busy irl lives for one week) I'm deleting everything and it would be on par with Trumpet dying from "neglect" which was in no way Maxo's fault and I wasn't even there for that one.
#obligations in quotation marks because she wants to hang out with her friends she doesnt see a lot irl#and it would probably feel weird to have to abandon them in the middle of the day/play all day#to get tickets so her minecraft child doesnt die#trying to not say id kill myself#we just got canon autistic ace Em and if she dies im gonna delete all my qsmp art and sketches i want to finish#everyone else id be mad but theyd be fine because eveyone else has two lives#i feel like i had more to say but i dont remember#tw rant#qsmp#fuck the bunny and capitalism
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peak capitalism is my work’s scheduling app having a lil spotify wrapped year-in-review moment for how many shifts/hours ive worked this year :)
i love having a funky visual slideshow telling me exactly how many days of my year have been spent at work :)
it’s soooo refreshing and life-affirming to know that i’m spending the vast majority of my waking hours being paid fuck all to cop abuse from stupid cunts just so my boss can come in to show us all his fancy new car, and the insanely expensive electric guitar that he “didn’t need but wanted to treat himself” :)
#i think i’ve finally snapped#the next time this man has to audacity to complain about the weeks profits (on a tuesday) im going to start biting#i will actually go feral and make him explode#but for real what the actual fuck#who tf thought it’d be a good idea to make this a thing#and to try and get me hyped about the depressing amount of hours i’ve worked this year#like i don’t want to kill myself and everyone around me every shift :)#:) :) :) :)#anti capitalist#capitalism is a scam
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vent
#im gonna be so fr rn i fucking hate american schooling and how i cant fucking afford housing to go to a fucking college i hate it here#1000 dollars for 200 sq ft apt... what the fuck#if im being honrst i dont wanna live in this sort of capitalism where i work and sleep and work and sleep#literally suicidal just bc of capitalism#reasons why id kill myself: number one capitalism number two clinicsl depression
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highlight of my elden ring play session today; bounced around between the haligtree and farum azula a bunch before sticking with and cutting through farum azula until i saw the godskin duo boss room and waffled around just outside before heading back to the haligtree and rocking loretta’s shit instead
#i got to both of those areas for the first time today and figured eh why not let’s get to the halfway points#and then just seeing the godskin duo room made me nervous lol#elden ring#salty talks#i have heard nothing good about the godskin duo so i am Afraid#but im also a little fuckoff overleveled so we’ll have to see when i give em a shot in a day or two#loretta is always fun. i messaged my friend like ok im gonna give loretta one shot today before stopping#and then one shot is all i needed sorry queen#funny in hindsight cuz the version in liurnia took me ages to beat so im a lil disappointed that it only took one try for the real thing#on the flipside i like the godskin apostle and i did immediately spam sleep pot on the prison town noble#soooo not really looking forward to the duo#but i have cornered myself in the sense that ive killed every other boss#but the ashen capital ones and malenia and godskin duo and maliketh and mohg
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My body is throbbing. I feel like a bricked phone. The kind you've run so thoroughly dead you can't feel a spark of life in the circuits. I feel the movements of the earth in my bones. Some little man is sitting atop ny head and driving nails through my skull with a hammer made of lead. My wires have been stripped and frayed and left out in the open. (Has just gotten off an 8 hour shift)
#chronic pain#chronic illness#capitalism is killing me slowly#im worn out#i worked my shift with no lunch because i was manning the store myself and it was. so busy.#at least i have tomorrow off#im gonna crash 😴 gn
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bbb
having the worst mental health breakdown and spiral today i feel like fucking dying god idk whats wrong with me i woke up feeling like shit and nothing is fixxing it time to get blackout high i guess bc i cant stand this rn im tired of crying
#sorry im just ready to kill myself bc capitalism#i know everyone is annoyed hearing my problems#im sorry
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deleted my twitter app (not account) bc i really can’t handle the intense no-nuance high-stakes takes right now. not that here is all that much better but it’s definitely less of a time sink
#i just.#ok.#i just think if ur gonna go scorched earth on prioritizing high minded ideals over outcomes ur not actually as morally pure as u think u r#and I also think if ur gonna do that u gotta say with ur CHEST the collateral damage you’ll sign onto#both by abstaining from concrete action now and by destroying infrastructure in the name of a brighter future#im not even gonna tell you ur wrong. but i want you to say who u think is worth sacrificing#i have awful news for you the folks who don’t make it thru the revolution are very rarely the rich and healthy and connected#it’s gonna be folks who are desperate enough to fight and folks who can’t handle more instability.#poor folks. sick folks. disabled folks. disenfranchised folks. unhoused folks.#you think you can build a functioning mutual aid network from scratch during a revolution serving tens of millions?#i know it’s a nice thought that the failures of US welfare programs are Just Capitalism. and that’s a huge chunk#but it’s also because IT IS DIFFICULT. and that’s WITH billions of dollars and a chokehold on the global supply chain#im not saying any of the options are good. but when u call for revolution u gotta acknowledge ur stealing from today for tomorrow#and look hard at the folks who stand to lose the most. say you’re fine with martyring them - whether or not they agree#I’ve got myself all worked up now and i wanna post about it. to maybe share some god damn perspective.#things are bad! things are not good. unsustainable trends abound. but wow for all ur whining online#about how everyone needs to know EVERYTHING about ALL ISSUES in EVERY CONFLICT or else you are EVIL#ur missing the forest for the trees my dude. takes are easy - policy is hard#get fucked. don’t get people killed.
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Insane how much better it is living as a middle class person in literally any other country than a 3rd world one, Europe mfs have been on easy mode while ive suffered for 20 consecutive yrs
#AND THIS IS WITH THE ALLEGEDLY BAD ECONOMY AND LATE STAGE CAPITALISM???#MY BROTHER IN CHRIST I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO ORDER A PIZZA COMFORTABLY FOR 6 YEARS#yeah turkey is a 2nd world country rn (i think) but lets be fr#with the way its goin 💀….#im killing myself fr#people can make…. enough to live with the bare minimum????#they can kind of pay rent ??#im goijgn to cry#TURKEY IS SO FUCKING BAAAAAD
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ingredient prices rising.
menu prices rising.
charging for pickles and onions now.
losing two really popular drink items, only locations in malls allowed to serve them now.
one kids meal costs $7.50
#VENT#AND YOU CANT EVEN FUCKING STACK COUPONS ANYMORE!!!#after this summer im quitting this job to do smth else#i love my coworkers so so much but i am so so tired and stressed all the time#and i hate hate hate seeing people struggle to justify EATING#'the meal comes to this total-' 'how much for just the burger?' 'this much' 'i'll do that instead'#killing and violence and biting and clawing#i hate you capitalism#pretty much every field is ehhh rn due to the State of Things i need to pick smth and throw myself into it#but theres so many different things that i love im rlly feeling that 'terrified of locking myself into one interest' thing
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I'm so sorry to say but the cat donation post you reblogged from cantsaynotosleep is a scam. You can check the blog kyra45 for more info as they've been tracking this scammer for a while now. or look up their previous, now-deactivated usernames: hologramconnosseurrs, sleiekkem, ohdelin, michelvv, michevvous, michevvouuz, michevkevv, michelaide, michelainne, seafallsv, bagsofgoldz, stereopillars, pillars-of-stereos, and the most recent one afaik is buffersforever. They send out asks with the exact same wording but with a different name and story about their cat, depending on whose cat donation post from FB they are currently stealing and using. (Last time their cat's name was "Canto", now they've changed it but the paypal account is still the same, since they were impersonating someone on facebook whose name was written in the vet documents that they stole. guess it's hard to make different paypal accounts every time they remake their scam.) Anyway, sorry if this ask gets sent multiple times. Will be going through the reblogs on their posts to get the word around as that seems the most effective way to deter this scammer so far. Please do report them to tumblr if you can or warn others about them.
man this is the second time ive been scammed this week what the hell. i cant spend my money on anything
thank you for letting me know though!! i’ll take down my rb
#the two times ive spent my money on Myself or things i wanted to spend it on and i got scammed both times#i was excited to finally have enough to help somebodya nd of course its a scam#im throwing my phone in the garbage i fucking hate the internet#i hate money i hate capitalism im gonna kill myself#not really. but like fuck this#30 bucks might not seem like a lot but i have been working so many hours trying to save money recently#i thought i could like. Use it. but noooo#asks
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Ok um so for a class they might make us work a minimum wage job for two weeks as an assignment
#shortext#ITS STILL IN DISCUSSION APPARENTLY BUT HUH.#it will be in april i think#sending my ass to the capitalism dimension#tbh im kinda scraed. and also i look 12 so it will be fucking embarrassing#it will either be a learning experience or it'll make me kill myself#OR both :)
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